Giving my opinion

Fear is one powerful emotion. Fear kept me from speaking up a great many times. As a teenager, I would not say anything to "rock the boat" within my family, because I feared being kicked out of home, (I lived there, and was part of the family, so therefore, it was my home too.) As a teenager, I began to have self-esteem issues, I could do nothing right in my father's eyes, so I hated going to work with him. Later, at my job in the hospitality industry, I said nothing to "rock the boat" because I feared if I was fired, I would not find another job (my father's words rang in my ears). Today, I am a college graduate and my degree, (even in this economy), along with the positive feedback from my co-workers, has served to raise my self-esteem, and with that I will no longer take any "lip" from anyone who seeks to make me feel less, for whatever reason motivates them.

A new day..

I realize I've not posted for a while, but I intend on changing that, by posting my feelings on this blog. Get ready! Whatever's on my mind, it will go on this blog.

Someday's, I just need to be around gay men....

Bloomingdale's opened a store here in The City. Now, in a city like San Francisco, (God Bless, Free Speech) there is bound to be rehetoric and arguments about excessive cosumerism by some of our fellow residents. Indeed, some of it is very true, I still felt the need to get a bit dressed up, spray on some Chanel (Egoiste) and be amongst the masses of people. Dressing up does change, my disposition. No apologies. None. While it may very well be a stereotye, we gay men were out in force,looking pretty stylish indeed. I've come to a point in my life where I know that there is indeed a world beyond the gay ghetto, but sometimes I need my security blanket that consists of gay men coverging together. Take it or leave it.

Current readings and pornstar sightings

In a required English class at San Francisco State University, I am reading "Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys." by Dan Kindlon and Micheal Thompson. When I saw what was required reading for the class, I thought, "I'm going to have so much to write about!" Indeed, painful memories are coming back to me as I read the chapters, and as I give my reactions to those chapters. I recommend this book to any male. I particularly recommend this book to any male of color who struggles to balance dual cultures...On a much lighter note, I was just at Rite-Aid at Larkin and Bush, here in San Francisco. Gay porn star Jason Adonis walked in with some intense looking eyes, no one else in the store seemed to recognize him and I must say it brought a smile to my face.

41 and counting...

My 41st birthday. As I move forward into my forties. I am comfortable with being single. I have moments where I long for a partner and lover (I believe one cannot go without the other.) and I must say that in the last year or so, I am becoming accustomed to the fact that I may very well be alone for however many years I have left. I am quite independent, and coupled with my cerebral palsy, I believe this intimidates most people. There is also a saying in Spanish that says: "Mas bien solo que mal acompanado." Translation: "You're better off alone, than in bad company." Friends and acquaintances from all over the Spanish-speaking world have said this to me. It's good advice. Most, if not all, of these people are currently single and happy. There also seems to be, or at least I've come across, many of my peers, who are likewise happily single. Who knows what this means.

Late blommer...so what else is new!

Hey, my first post. Well, here we go...I'm looking forward to this. I am a Mexican, born in Tijuana, Baja California, who has lived in the former Alta California for most of his life. Openly gay, for eons. About to begin what I hope will my last semester at San Francisco State University. Somewhat moderate in my beliefs. We'll see how this goes.

Ciao!